Saturday, August 20, 2016

STORY #35

Gonna switch things up a bit and switch to poetry mode. This one was to write an usual request durring the reading of a will.


PAIN THE IN THE ARSE


Pops, he finally passed away,
You'd think that's all
he'd have to say.
Choked on steak
drowned in  beer.
ha ha haha
I didn't shed a tear.

He'd done croaked
cause he choked.

Gathered around all
family at the table
sons and daughters wondered
how he became so unstable
and how he forgot his name
and often where he was
the look in his eyes
showed his brain went buzzzzzzzz

He'd done croaked
cause he choked.


Perhaps the biggest
of my wife's dreaded chore
was his peeing and pooping
all over her wood kitchen floor.
"Get'm some diapers and cinch them tight.
But he'd fuss and he'd cuss
and put up a fight.
Kicking n' screamin'
he thinks this is fun
lets see how he likes it
when I pull out my gun

but he'd done croaked
cause he choked

The moment arrived
for the reading of the will
but I didn't expect all
that much from him still
cause he burned our house down
and totaled our cars
to me he's always
been a pain in the arse.

Would've shot'm back then
but my wife would complain
you'd think I'd care?
Cause pops. He's insane.

But he'd done croaked
casue he choked.


Don't think for one second
all the trouble stopped there,
oh, remind me to tell you
all about his dino underwear
running all naked through
the neighborhood street
peeing and pooping
showing his meat.


Hissing and spitting
creating a fuss
popping all his butt zits
just oozing with puss.
I would've shot'm then
If I could
but hey, I'm sure
most anybody would.

But he'd done croaked
cause he choked.

At the reading of the will
there was one final request
this was only the beginning
of the trouble of our quest.
 I always knew he
wasn't right in in the brain
Kept tellin' my wife
your pops is insane.
If I would've thought back then
shoulda dropped him off at the bog
made him find his way back
like some lost puppy dog.

But he croaked
casue he choked.

Ohhh you shoulda seen
the shock in our eyes
when he read the will
and gave us the surprise.
Please take care of my lover
my stripper from Mars
I haver her locked n' secured
and tied up with red scarves

They'd been looking for this woman
at least several years or more
and not once did I think
to open that door.

Pops is long gone now,
scattered among the stars
still so far far far away
still a pain in the arse.

All cause he croaked
cause he choked.

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