Wednesday, August 17, 2016

STORY #34 HELP i'M CRUMBLING

PROMPT #34


This prompt was to bring to life a statue. For this it happened to be the statue of liberty who is not very nice.


 HELP I'M CRUMBLING

One thing about being a statue after all this time is that you get to see everything. Actually, you get to see a lot more than I really care to see and it's not pretty. After all I am in New York City.
Gets pretty tiring holding this torch up after all these years too,. Every once in a while I shift hands.
You'd think somebody would notice.
Noooooot.
You'd think they'd also notice that I blow the torch out every once in a while.
Nooooooot. Not chance of that either.
But they did notice the day I let my dress down and exposed my rock solid breasts.
Yeahhh. That was some kid that noticed that one at first while riding on Staten Island Ferry
Get a good clean shot at me from there cause actually I'm more on the New Jersey side.
I see all sorts of things like I said and most of the time I just like to screw with people. I don't know how much longer I have left really so I got to make the best out of it.
You see, my foundation is crumbling and my head is deteriorating at a extremely rapid rate. Termites got hold of my foundation and are chewing me up. Can't chew the stone part of me up though, the weather has taken pretty could care of that department.
Most don't realize I have a foundation of wood. And they're rally surprised that termites could find me when I'm tucked out here on this tiny platform in the middle of the Hudson River.
Exterminators have put this baiting system around me that's supposed to stop them but between you and me, I think it only works part time. I don't think it's such an efficient treatment. But New York being New York god forbid somebody use some chemical to get the job done and done right so nobody has to screw around with this. They say they don't want to contaminate the river an kill the fish.
Haaaa. Believe that?
New flash. Don't wanna eat the fish here anyways.
All I can do is sigh and move on,
And screw around with people.
Love to screw with folks, especially the tourists,
Watch this.
Did you see all that dust I just exhaled all over that container ship. Look at that knucklehead looking around and up at the sky as he tries to figure out where it came from.
Hold on. There's plenty more where that came from,
Shhhh. Here comes the Staten Island ferry.
Watch this.
Gonna drop my dress.
Wait till they get a little closer.
Almost there.
People are snapping pictures with their phones. I remember back in the day they were Polaroids. Before that it was some huge contraption. Things sure have evolved over the years.
Close enough now.
Here we go.
Look at that woman's mouth. Now, she's covering her son's eyes as they are shocked beyond all belief.
Didn't think I could do that did ya?
I like to do that every once in a while to screw with people. You know expose myself, What are they going to do?
Well would you believe I had a cop approach me one day telling me that he knew that I have the ability to come alive and that I needed to behave myself or he was going to give me a ticket?
I thought, really, dude. You really have no clue do ya, Go ahead. Send the Mayor over here and I'll straighten him out, I gotta little somethin' somethin' for his butt anyway. Him and me. We got a beef.
It's not like anybody is taking good care of me.
In fact, I'm being taken for granted and one day people are going to wake up and I'm gonna keel over into the Hudson and cause all kinds of chaos and ruckus as my ceramic brains scatter all over the city. Like that's all this city needs. Like really, hasn't New York seen enough of its troubles lately?
I didn't particularly care for the way he was talking to me so as he turned to leave I hocked up a good'n. Got it nice and juicy for him and spat a big ole stone lugey at his head so heavy that it knocked his butt out,
See if he screws with me anymore on that one,
Sometimes I get a little ticked off when people don't pay enough attention to me. It's like, I used to be the greatest thing ever. People came from all over the world to come to just see me hold this silly torch.
I do have a New York temper you know and have to express myself every once in a while.
Tick me off enough I squirt gritty ceramic milk from my boobs and spray it out all over Manhattan. Still to this day nobody has yet to figure it out.
I know it,s nasty and it's very rude of me but I can get nasty if I really have to, And these New Yorkers are not easy folks to deal with,
One day I knocked a U. S. Air jet right out of the sky. Just took a good swat at the sucker like it was nothing more than a fly with my torch and ripped its wing off. I did that cause some knucklehead thought it would be funny to give me the finger.
I said oh yeah? Think you're a wise guy do ya? You know what we do to wise guys here in New York. We take'm out back behind the Italian restaurant and chop'm to pieces when nobody is looking.
That's what we do.
You shoulda saw his eyes when I reached out with my torch and whacked that sucker,
Now, I'm not very proud of the things I did. But hey, don't screw around with me. Especially with a woman that's quickly crumbling to my death.
They don't even allow anybody at the top of my crown anymore cause the instability.
But what's a lady to do? Especially when you've been around for as long as I have.
And if people keep ignoring me out here, piss on'm. That's what I'm gonna do.

Ever wonder why the Hudson River is so crappy?

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