Thursday, August 11, 2016

STORY #30

This prompt was to write a story, well, to draft a conversation with myself and my evil twin. This I wrote in all entirely dialogue. Really, it's about a a guy with split personalities having a conversation with himself. This one came about from a partial conversation I had with a member of our family who was smitten one day when a younger woman made a comment to him about how nice he looked. Of course I knew right away she had a different agenda. But his comment was . I still got it. And I thought, what are you kiddn me? And he always carried around this dinosaur cell phone that nobody ever uses anymore. Can't quite get a grip on the android age. As I watched him talking to her on this old phone I began to imagine things and it wasn't a pretty picture either. But it was a thought that could only come from somebody with a gross and sick sense of horror humor. can't tell what it is cause it's at the end of the story and I don't want to give it away.

This story is a little late posting. It's actually yesterdays story. Today another one will be posted this evening.
 STILL GOT IT. THE BAG OF CHIPS
TEE-SHIRT AND SODA POP



What do you mean you still got It?
I got it.You know. Like got it got it.
Stop grabbing yourself like that it's disgusting.
When you got it you got it.
You ain't got nothing. You're over eighty years old. Overweight and have you checked with a doctor to see if your heart is even healthy enough to be having sex with that pacemaker and all?
You don't even know who you are today.
Do too. Same person as yesterday.
Ahhhm. Not really.
You're just jealous.
No. She just wants your money.
Naaa. Don't think they're worried bout that.
They? You mean there's more?
Of course.
So I take you two have been getting along?
No. She left.
Its only been six months and she left now.
Moved on to better things. Don't need her anyway. I got other fish to fry.
If you ain't careful those fish are going to fry you.
Not with me. I'm the man. The man.
You say that like you know what you're doing.
I do know what I'm doing and I'm gonna keep on doing it for as long as I have this healthy stick God blessed me with.
Ahmm. You ain't that shriveled up thing. You're eighty you know.
Yeah so. Age is just a number. Look
Put that thing away. It's gross.
Just wanted to prove to to you.
I'm surprised it hasn't fallen off. That smells like rotten fuzzy peach with maggots all up in the inside.
Naa. I'm healthy as a horse.
Ahmmm. Not really. Not when your thingy there is ripe as a days old brown banana with fruit flies flying all around it.
Is that what those things are? Been wondering why they keep following me around like that. Can't seem to get rid of the things.
You're so old moths are even flying out of that thing. And... What is that greens lime hanging down?
I don't know. Been there for a while.
It's like some evil creature from the vagina lagoon or something. You must've gotten some kind of fungus.
I keep wiping it off but it comes back.
Did you see a doctor.
Naaa. Ain't got the insurance anymore, Company cut my retirement plan.
Still, I think you better do something about that.
I will.
What are you doing now?
Giving her a call.
From that phone?
It works.
That phone's dead.
No it ain't. See.
It dead. That phone's a dinosaur, Where'd you get it?
Woke up to it laying on my bed.
Let me see.... The battery's dead. Doesn't even come on.
I'm telling you it works. Just wait....... See that.
Wow. It does. I don't understand that.
That's what I've been sayin' Excuse me................. Hi honey. Yeah I'm talking with the other me right now. Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
It that her?
Yep.
You're still gonna see her after she gave you the slimy drips and all that..... Whatever that stuff is dangling from your thang?
It's not the same chick.
Seriously?
Seriously.
I think you better leave these women alone till you get yourself checked out.
Ahhh they don't care. They can't resist this ole sex pistol.
Wait. What's going on? Who are all these women knocking at my door?
That's them. They've come to visit.
They're walking dead women.
And you're point is?
No wonder you were getting along so well. Tell them to stop tearing up my house. They're busting my windows.
They want me. They want me bad. I like to hear them groan, And I really like to hear them moan,
Stop it!
Ohhh. Don't worry. They wouldn't hurt a flea.
I'm gettin' my gun.
Don't you dare. You're not going to hurt my precious darlings.
Don't point that gun at me. They're the enemy. Not me.
Depends on which side of the line you're on. You're not gonna hurt my darlings.
BANG!









No comments: