COOLEST PARTY EVER
Albert gave it a good whack and an ear fell out of the stomach.
The piñata was their social studies teacher stuffed full of goodies
The children cheered.
"More… Do more," a boy screamed.
They all chanted for Albert.
Albert gave it another swing. This time he knocked it so hard a head fell out.
The bloody head was their second grade science teacher.
"Do it again," they screamed.
Albert swung and missed.
"My turn. I want to try it," a boy said
They heard a snapping sound as the piñata's leg broke. Nothing fell out.
"You stink," one said.
On the second swing, a nose fell out.
Noticing a wart on the tip, they recognized it as the math teacher.
The children laughed.
The next hit a bunch of eyes tumbled out.
A boy picked it up. "Do you know who this one is?"
The girl studied it. "Looks like Mr. Parsley's. Should be tasty, he's all the time squirting those drops to keep his eyes moist. It's the bloodshot ones you want to stay away from."
He shrugged his shoulders and plopped it in his mouth.
"How's it taste?" she asked.
"Great. Think I might have to have another one."
"Not until I eat the nose first.”
"Ohhh, I don't believe you ate that nose.”
He chewed and chewed and chewed. "Sure is gristly though."
"Of course, it's a nose you moron.”
They told him to give it another swing.
This time several fingers dropped out.
"Ohh, I just love fingers," the girl said. She dipped one in some honey mustard from McDonald's. "Yum."
"Don't be such a greedy bug," he said. "Save some for everybody else."
Two other children grabbed a finger and ate one.
"My turn.” She grabbed the bat.
Her swing almost knocked the piñata off the tree. A large intestine dangled from the opening.
"Almost got it," the boy said. "Swing again."
The rest of the intestine fell out along with a stomach.
The girl lifted the blindfold. "How'd I do?"
The girl looked. "Ohhh, this is so sad."
"The piñata is empty."
The children held hands, sang, Head N' Shoulders Knees N' Toes and danced around the piñata.
Mommy brought out the cake and they all sang happy birthday to Albert.
"The cake looks yummy, Mom," Albert said.
The cake was the head of their music teacher. Two candles stuck in the eyes. A cupcake stuffed in his mouth.
Albert opened his presents. He got the meat cleaver he'd always wanted from his mother, a head crusher, and a large meat grinder.
"This was the best party ever, Albert's mommy." The girl said.
"Such lovely children." she patted the girls head.
"Can we celebrate my birthday?" She asked. "And make a piñata of my own?"
"Of course. Who do you have in mind?"
She thought about it. "I think the school psychologist would be nice."
All the children agreed.
Mommy chuckled. "Be nice children. If people hear us talking like this they're going to think we're insane."
Albert grinned. "Wonder what would give them that idea."