A naked man was perched on the rooftop of the rescue center.
Sixty-something man lifted his head from a pile of hay, chewing on his cud and neighed.
Enjoying. Drool ran down the side of his cheek.
Twenty others walked around on all fours in the field and baaad.
A sign posted. THIS FARM MAY CONTAIN FEATURES NOT COMPATABLE WITH THE HUMAN FORMAT.
A pretty midget nurse answered the door. Her vagina opened wide baring its rattlesnake like fangs. Horns protruded from the top of her head “You must be….”
A black man with big black round face and gold teeth stuck his head between the midget's legs and barked. She called him Butch.
By the barn a young boy was eating grass in the field. To his right a skinny man pecked at the ground.
Three women with long legs clucked.
I followed her into the waiting room. Two naked women were lying on the sofa meowing. One of them hissed when I walked by.
“You can have a seat here.”
Slobber dribbled down the side of Butch’s mouth as his bark became more aggressive.
I stepped back prepared to protect myself with my clipboard.
“Don’t worry, his bark is worse than his bite.”
I grinned trying not to show fear.
What have I got myself into?
“Please come in.”
Butch grabbed hold of my leg and started humping. Seems he was liking me a little too well.
The nurse swatted his head. “Knock it off. Sorry about that, he has a hard time controlling his sexual appetite.”
“He's got big balls. See.”
I thanked her for showing them, straightened my glasses, and prepared the paperwork. In the corner of the room a woman dressed in yellow was perched on a rod in a very large birdcage whistling.
The receptionist peered over her glasses.
“She whistles beautifully don’t you think?” The doctor said as he walked in. “You must be from the investigating service.”
The doctor's name was Tom. He was a big fat juicy twenty-five pounder Butterball turkey.
The nurse tapped his head. “Calm down Butch, he’s just here to speak with the client.”
The doctor gobbled, straightened his pants. “Yes, I know. I have many animals here and at times they get out of hand. I do apologize if they frighten you.”
“You said animals?”
It’s this whole thing you call a farm. What you are doing here is inhumane.”
The doctor’s beak widened. “How could you say such a terrible thing? This is science at its finest. These people are old, used up and deemed non-productive. Some have attempted suicide and screwed that up. They need to be here.”
Thin man slivered his way across the floor flicking his tongue vehemently. “Just like that” he pointed.
“Oh, that there is Henry. He wouldn’t hurt a soul.”
“These people are acting like animals.”
“I know. Isn’t it awesome?” The doctor said. “I simply give them a function and help them be productive in society by turning them into animals”
“That’s not what we’re concerned about.”
“Then what is it?”
“There’s been several complaints from the locals about some unusual goings on.”
“Of course,” the doctor said. He glanced at his watch.
Ding. The timer went off.
I followed the nurse down a long dark corridor where two men grabbed me from behind.
The nurse kissed my cheek. “Relax. It'll all become very clear soon.”
The doctor walked in. Raised a finger. “They are all very unique in their own way.”
“I do have admit it’s pretty genius. We can’t allow you to keep doing this.”
The doctor bit his lower beak, ran his talons over his reddened face and wiped the sweat from his brow. “Another one that doesn’t appreciate science. Let me explain. When a person checks into our establishment they are in pain, often times their bones can barely…”
“I see, but I was sent here to shut you down. You are no longer able to maintain this establishment.”
“I understand perfectly,” the doctor said. “I assure you , you will have no more trouble out of me. The doctor nodded to the receptionist.
A wave of dizziness overcame me. I felt tired and weak.
When I woke I found himself strapped to a table lying beside a donkey. “What’s going on?”
The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry it has to be that way.”
Blinded by the light I could faintly make out the doctor’s approaching image and screamed at the sudden buzz of a saw.
“He’s ready doctor,” the nurse said.
“This is going to be my best work yet,”
All was quiet.
“They so rarely talk when they know,” the doctor said.
“I love this game,” she said
I could hear water running in the sink and the snapping sound of rubber gloves.
The donkey beside me heeee and haaaaaawd.
The doctor laughed. “And to think they sent him here to check us out.”
They all gobbled, clucked twirped and chirped circling him as they sang ring around the rosie.