When I sit down to write these I have no idea what I'm going ot write, I just have this prompt I go off of and allow my subconscience to do the rest, Anyway this one turned out to be one of my favorites so far becasue I like silly stories like these. You will also notice that I write a variety of different stories. You never know what your going to get.
GORILLAS FROM OUTER SPACE
Stig Martell Exterminator Extraordinaire
Susan, my helper, popped in and handed me a stack of papers “I think you're going to find this interesting.”
I found everything interesting Susan gave me. And I always love it when she pops by. It gave me another chance to get her to go out to dinner with me. She's just so quick. Never a dull moment whenever she popped into my office. And most often means that Earth is in danger. Again. Like there ain't enough going on around there.
I do mean literally pop.
I would hear this soft popping sound, turn around and there she'd be. It all had to do with her being from planet Zonith.
I thought, Slammer, the company android was going to short a fuse. His eyes wiggled back and forth as he slammed his fist on the shelf and caused all my books to tumble down.
Slammer was like Arnold Schwarzenegger times three huge, only made of metal.
I jumped. “You need to start giving us some kind of warning when you do that.”
“Oh. Forgot. Sorry.”
The stack of papers she handed me was like five inches thick. I couldn't even begin to imagine what this was all about. “What do we have here?”
“We have here a collection of strange creatures.”
“Collection of what?”
“Strange creatures from outer space.”
“Now, we're getting somewhere. Everyday with you is mysterious.”
If it weren't for Susan I'd have no cases. My business would be down.
It's not easy finding people to help out with exterminating creatures from other planets. You think Earth has it's problems?
Dude, I got to tell ya. You haven't seen anything yet. But her planet paid me a healthy fee for them too.
I thumbed through the pages. “They're blank.”
“Forgot bout that. Sorry.” She touched them with her finger and the pages engulfed in flames. “Have to burn them first.”
“Isn't that supposed to be after we read them?”
“Not in this case.”
The pages went up in flames. “Woooa … Wooooa...” I waved over the flames attempting to put the fire out. When I saw that didn't work I dumped a pitcher of water on it and that didn't work either. There were sprinklers in the ceiling and the last thing I needed was a flood in here damaging all my computers and stuff.
“It's okay. It's doesn't burn.”
She was right. Odd but right. I waved my hand through the fire and it wasn't hot. There was no smell or burning embers floating up.
“The fire decodes the files so you can read them.”
“Dare I ask you to explain this any further.”
“You Earth folk are funny. You guys always try to reason out some sort of explanation over things. Sometimes you just have to accept things for the way they are and move on. It is what it is.”
I had to admit. She had a point.
The flames slowly went down and a half a minute later burned out.
“And there you go,” she said.
“Ahhhh. I can read this now,”
“They're heading straight for Earth. Judging by our records they are due to arrive here in two days. So we don't have much time.”
“I've never dealt with these before.”
“Vicious creatures. Extremely dangerous and very strong. Make your earth gorillas look like pansies.”
“Where do they come from?”
They originate from planet Whofuzuno but they're spreading through the galaxy very fast. The females give birth to two pups a day until they reach a hundred. As you can see they're very fast breeders.”
“Appears that way.” I was still trying to take all this in. “What planet is this again?”
“Way out there. Like way way out there. Beyond a galaxy far far far away. Even farther than the Enterprise had ever traveled.”
“That is pretty far.”
“From worlds and beyond.”
There was a picture of one on the next page. It looked just a like a Planet Earth Gorilla except ten times larger. I had no idea how I was going to eradicate these guys having never dealt with them before.
“Wow. They are big.”
“Any idea how to exterminate these?”
“Just give us a second and we'll see.”
I handed the picture to Slammer and he ate it. The paper crinkled beneath his steel teeth and in two seconds he spat out the pesticide I needed to use.
Not really a pesticide but more of a repellent. One of those I.P.M. Systems. I.P.M. Is a program designed to rid pests with as least chemical as possible. By what I've seen of these creatures we need missiles or high-tech explosives.
The name of the product of choice was called. 'Doomsday' which is some sort of fogging agent that once released sends out some sort of extremely foul odor that space gorillas can't stand.
I had to admit. I did like the sound of that one. I just hoped it worked. Every once in a while some yahoo from up top will come up with some wacky idea thinking that his idea is worth million bucks and is guaranteed to work because he has a degree that states he is qualified to come up with great ideas.
Reading on through the chemical properties I saw this product of choice did not fall in that category. Apparently, Doomsday was created by the space wildlife program of Creature Critters that when dispersed releases an amount equivalent to the atomic bomb.
“Wow, that's got to be some stuff there,” I said.
Susan looked on her screen. I could sweat across her forehead. “Ahh, we have a big problem.”
“The Gorillas are closer than we thought. Seems they've already entered Earth's atmosphere.”
She showed me her screen. Hundreds of gorillas were flying around.
She cranked the volume up on her phone and I never in my life heard such vicious sounding creatures.
Two of them slammed into a U.S. Air jet tearing a huge hole in the side. One of them ripped a wing off as if it were nothing but a Mattel Toy to a toddler.
I could hear the screams of the passengers as they were being sucked out of the plane. Suit cases, bags flying out.
It was as if it were feeding time at the zoo as gorillas picked the people out of the sky, and plopped them in their mouths.
Blood spurting from under their razor sharp teeth. Crushing them in their huge hands.
A gorilla grabbed what was left of the plane as it quickly spiraled downward toward land and twisted it like an employee making an Auntie Ann's Pretzel.
She switched the angle of the screen and we saw a gorilla snacking on a satellite he had snatched down long the way.
Susan held the screen up. “If we don't do something quick these things are going to finish off your planet.”
Technically, it was not my planet any more since I left and started up my own station. Instead of working for one of Earth's big companies. I just defend it against predators.
I downed the last bit of my coffee and Slammer gulped down the last drops of his oil and we headed to the garage to the Spitfire.
The Spitfire was in sloppy shape. I saw the look of disgust on Susan's face.
“This place is a pig sty. Clean up much?”
“Not really. Don't have much time.”
Of course I know that looked bad when I was sitting at my desk reading a comic book when she walked in. But, I have an excuse. I'm a guy. A busy guy. And what little time I do have off I like to kick it back a bit.
I couldn't blame her for being a little disgusted. There was chip bags lying around. Soda cans scattered on the floor. Bits of tiny chips and bread crumbs between the seats.
She removed her hand from the handle as if it were hot. “Gross. There's something sticky on here.”
“Sorry bout that. Probably just cola.” I get to flying around sometimes and have to make a sharp turn and my soda spills out of the holder. Just can't seem to get one that fits perfectly in the console.
“Have any wipes?”
“I don't.” Instead I handed her a tissue.
She curled her nose as she unfolded the tissue, holding it on her finger tips. “I can't ride in here. Hard telling what kinds of germs are floating around in this place.”
“It's going to be fine.”
In order to calm her nerves a little I scooped up the lose trash and tossed it in a trash bag, I sprayed the interior down with Lysol and 409. It wasn't Mr. Clean mean type clean, But it would do. Beside, we didn't have time to waste and had to get going,
I tossed the rest of the rags in the trash, wiped the seat down and adjusted it for her. “Better?'
She bit her lower lip, and shook her head. “I guess it'll have to do.”
“Then you better hop in. We're going for a ride.”
I closed and latched the door the second she stepped inside. Just in case there was something else she thought needed done. We didn't have time to play games.
I pushed the button to open the garage door and we zoomed off at mach speed.
She nearly came out of her seat because she wasn't buckled in secure enough.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Fine. A hard take off.”
“We re in a hurry.”
She turned her screen on to get the location of the gorillas and saw they were quickly falling from the sky.
A news chopper was flying around to grab some footage and was snatched out of the air by one the gorillas. It's large hands ripped the blade clean off and swung the chopper by its tail.
The gorilla zoomed off leaving a trail of falling metal debris and spray of blood and guts in its wake.
Slammer turned his head and the lights of his eyes blinked red. “A pack of gorillas bearing 090 degrees three thousand yards and closing.
“Three thousand. That meant they're right up us.”
“Too close for me,” Susan said.
I made my checks double checking to make sure I was fully loaded, Not really a good time to check something like that given the current circumstances but checking ten to twelve times has always been a habit of mine.
Even if we didn't have enough I could always fly off. In cases like these its always better to not start the fight and come back another day. In this case there won't be another day.
“One thousand yards.”
We could see the gorillas in the distance. A huge brown hairy cloud,
My ship shuttered and banged and Susan screamed as a gorilla landed on the windshield,
“This is so not good,” Susan said.
“We're going to be okay. I've been through several things like this before and nothing had ever took our ship. The Spitfire was everything she was meant to be. This had proven itself more true when we came across all those space sharks. Want to talk about something nasty.
The gorillas were big no doubt. And we were getting a much up close and personal look.
Its fangs were as huge as an elephants. Its hands were like a hundred pound sledgehammer as it banged repeatedly on the windshield and getting pretty ticked off cause it can't break through,
“You don't think it can break that glass do you?”
“No. Not a chance.”
“He sure looks pretty ticked off.”
“Oh, he's going to be.”
The ship shook as another gorillas slammed into the side. The next thing I knew we were in the midst of a brown cloud of gorillas.
Its teeth trying to chomp on the glass as it licked it making it harder for me to see with all the saliva.
I shifted sharp left then a jagged right turn. The gorillas was still holding on.
“Ain't going to let go that is he?” she asked.
“He's not going to have a choice.”
I increased speed and and did a loopety loop three time around and round round the ship went.
Finally the gorilla flew off.
And Susan was puking.
“You need to warn me next time you do something like that.”
“I didn't know I was going to do.”
“Well, try to think ahead next time.”
“If you want I can let you out here and you can walk.”
“Don't be a wiseguy.”
“Beside this will be over in a second.”
I zoomed away to increase the distance between us and the gorillas and pointed the bow toward them.
“Stand by, Slammer. Its showtime.”
I pressed the button to open the chemical release hatch and ignited the discharge cylinder.
The ship shuttered as a gorilla slammed into the side. Its entire head sticking through the side.
And came within a few inches of getting Slammer.
“Now, nobody's ever done that before.”
Susan's eyebrows rose as her head did this nervous twitch back and forth. “That's what I was talking about.”
I order Slammer to take the helm and I grabbed bat and beat the thing in the face as hard as I could until it stopped with its growling. “Now, that was a close call.”
I reassured my position.
Slammer sat up straight. “All set, Boss. We better do this now.”
The alarm went off, blinking red light alert. “Fire.”
Slammer pushed the button and a loud hissing sound echoed through the cabin as the chemical dispersed, covering the gorillas in the slimy mess.
They stopped mid-flight. Coughing, gagging. Some of them started puking. They tried rubbing their eyes to free themselves of the burning sensation. The more they rubbed the more it stung.
They started flying around aimlessly as if they were dizzy and quickly spiraled their way downward.
“I think we did it,' Boss,” Slammer said.
“I think so.”
We looked around and didn't see one live gorilla in sight. That's what I like about that stuff. One of the few products that actually live up to its name. DOOMSDAY.
I gave Susan a big kiss, with tongue and everything. I pulled her toward me so I could feel her breast on my chest. I've always wanted to do that. She is one hot looking chick. We hooted and hollered.
With the mission complete she popped out of existence as quickly as she had arrived before I had a chance to ask her out to dinner. She does this to me every time. One day I'm going to find a way to make her stay.
And once again planet Earth is saved.