Sunday, April 29, 2012

Discovered a great new site today called THE GORELETTER with Michael Arnzen via Jeff Strand's Gleefully Macabre site. I had a lot of gory fun here and I think you will to. He is now on my must read list.
www.gorelets.com/blog/
While you're here might as well take a minute and read my humorous zombie flash. Just let me know what you think.



NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH
BY
CHRISTOPHER RIDGE

John heard the neighbors howling like a pack of fierce animals outside his bedroom window.
There was Old Man Jones from across the street with his dead pet pig walking by his side. Then there was Mrs. Clyde, the scientist’s wife with her head half caved in. Next there was the one he was glad to see dead, Ron Tyson, the neighborhood bully.
“Honey, wake up, we’re being attacked.”
His wife Becky groaned from under the sheets.
He nudged her. “Honey, I said wake up.”
She blinked her eyes hard. “What is it?”
“Our neighbors are dead and they’re all out walking the street.”
“You’re crazy. Go back to sleep. It’s still dark out.”
“I’m serious. Come see for yourself.”
She groaned. “I don’t have time for your little pranks tonight, John. I have to be at work in two hours or I’ll be dead.”
“Well, you won’t be going to work tomorrow, that’s for sure.”
“Then how do you suppose we’re going to pay the bills? With you being laid off from your job, I’ve had no choice but to take on that second shift.”
“I understand, but tomorrow I’m pretty sure things are going to be different.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Oh I’m pretty sure about it.”
His eyes widened as he watched them toddling down the street.
A zombie looked toward the window and saw John. They were like wolves in search of fresh meat as one of them signaled to the others, and they all turned in unison and made toward the house.
“Oh no. They just saw me.”
“Make sure the doors are locked,” she mumbled with her head under the pillow.
He waved his hand at her in disgust and shook his head.
The knocks came louder followed by more impatient rapid banging as they hungered for the taste of flesh.
Bang….Bang….Bang….
He grabbed the gun from the rack.
The door ripped from its hinges. He hated the thought of having to shoot his neighbors. These were the people he loved; hardworking folks as himself trying to make ends meet. They have had barbecues and block parties together.
“Honey, what is all that banging?” She yelled.
“I told you. Zombies are attacking us. You better get down here, now.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot. Just be careful, honey.”
“I’m going to need your help.”
No response.
He open fired as the zombies charged through the door.
He remembered reading in a zombie survival guide to aim for the head.
Brains splattered on the wall as he dropped them like flies.
Bang…. “Sorry about this, Jackie."
Bang…”Sorry, Nora. Wish I didn’t have to do this. I’ve always liked you.”
Bang…. ”Sorry, Cousin Riley. I know you’ve been working hard trying to keep the house up and you’ve done so much for me but….”
 Bang ….”Sorry, Elmer, but you were going to die soon anyway.”
“Kyle, I apologize for this, but I’m surprised to see you after having that stroke and all.”
 “Sorry, I had to shoot your kid, Jesse.”
The more zombies he shot the more came at him.
“John, what are you doing?” His wife yelled as she charged down the stairs. “What have you done to my walls?”
She shrieked as farmer Huck crept up from behind her and bit into the right side of her face.
John put a bullet between the old farmer’s eyes, but not before the old man managed to rip himself off another chunk of his wife.
The rest of the neighborhood came hobbling down the stairs.  He could see out the window the little zombie girl who lived two blocks down crawling up the gutter.  Then he heard the pattering of footsteps on the roof.
He felt a tight grip around his ankle and was yanked to the floor. Fortunately, he managed to get a shot off putting a bullet right between the zombie’s eyes.
He backed against the wall as the zombie towered over him.
He aimed and…
Click Click…. Clickety Click
Zombie Big Ben Lewis’ right eyeball dangled from its cord as he stared at him with a half face smile. He spoke in short rapid gasps “You can read all of the zombie survival guides you want, Sonny Boy but in the end it is what it is.”